When Sola met Daniel few months ago, she had been swept off her feet especially by the calmness about her partner. His words were especially kind and the clincher had been how honest he had seemed about his life and his feelings for her.

Watching Daniel speak on their dates, and listening to him during their numerous phone calls had made it natural for her to let down her own defenses. So she held nothing back when she spoke of her past, the demons she had had to fight and the fragility of her peace.

Sola told her partner of the 8-year-long relationship that her ex ended abruptly, the abortions she had, and the son she insisted on having for that same ex, but lost only after one month of his birth. She told of the depression she suffered after she lost the child, and how being dumped by her long-term boyfriend had worsened it.

She also told him of the two suicide attempts and her long dependence on anti-depressants… she let all her struggles out and laid them bare at his feet, trusting that he’d understand. But Daniel didn’t. And Sola watched, devastated, as he’d slowly faded out of her life. Not abruptly like her ex, and not as hurtfully as her ex did his, but…  still painful regardless.

Her friend, Amaka, thinks she should not have told him all of that and that. Even if they had been in a relationship for longer than six months, some things were far better left unsaid, Amaka says. Sola insists she did the right thing, and that she won’t stop opening up completely to the men who try to come into her life, no matter how difficult it is to do so.

This brings us to the big question that many people have had to ask and answer in their relationship/marriage: how OK is it to tell a partner everything in a relationship? Do you tell them all, or leave somethings out in order to preserve the relationship? Let us know in the comments section below!



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